致妙清：在转变中找寻内心的安宁
今天上午，在满心的不甘中，我正式离开了医保科办公室那个温暖的大家庭，踏入了曾经充满勾心斗角的信息科办公室。刚搬进来的那一刻，心中弥漫着一种难以言喻的恐惧，而这恐惧的源头，便是对科主任陈超行为的担忧。我害怕他那难以捉摸的言语和举动会刺激到我，甚至让我脆弱的心脏因激动而猝死。
这种恐惧如阴霾般笼罩着我，让我在新的环境中举步维艰。然而，就在这个迷茫而又不安的夜晚，好友汤波老师的一句话，宛如一道破晓的曙光，照亮了我内心黑暗的角落。
他说：“胡嬷嬷你记住，一切恨，根本都是源自于对自我的不接纳，对自我的不慈悲。每当恨意来袭，允许不甘和崩溃情绪的直接呈现，并且带着觉知跟它待在一起，接纳它，观察它，允许它的存在，最后，让它穿过你的身体，实现能量的流动，实现与之和平共处。”
这番话让我陷入了深深的沉思。《心经》中曾言：“心无挂碍，无挂碍故，无有恐怖。”我之所以对新环境充满恐惧，对陈超的行为如此担忧，不正是因为我心中有所挂碍吗？我执着于过去的安稳与和谐，无法接受如今的变化和不确定性，从而让恐惧在心中生根发芽。
《金刚经》亦云：“凡所有相，皆是虚妄。若见诸相非相，即见如来。”我所恐惧的陈超的行为，或许也只是一种表象，一种虚妄。如果我能超越表象，看到其背后的本质，也许就能以更加平和的心态去面对。
正如古人云：“不以物喜，不以己悲。”我不应被外界的人和事所左右，而应保持内心的平静与坚定。“千磨万击还坚劲，任尔东西南北风。”无论环境如何变化，我都要像那坚韧的竹子一样，坚守自己的内心。
汤波老师的话让我明白了，要学会接纳自己的情绪，无论是不甘、崩溃还是恐惧。只有当我真正接纳它们，才能与之和平共处，才能在这纷繁复杂的世界中找到属于自己的安宁。
This morning, with a heart full of reluctance, I officially left the warm big family of the Medical Insurance Department office and stepped into the Information Department office, which was once full of intrigues. The moment I moved in, an indescribable fear pervaded my heart, and the source of this fear was the worry about the behavior of the department director, Chen Chao. I was afraid that his unpredictable words and actions would stimulate me and even cause my fragile heart to die suddenly due to excitement.
This fear hung over me like a haze, making me stumble in the new environment. However, on this confused and uneasy night, a word from my friend, Teacher Tang Bo, was like a dawn breaking through the darkness in my heart.
He said, "Hu Mama, remember that all hatred fundamentally stems from the non-acceptance of oneself and the lack of compassion for oneself. Whenever hatred strikes, allow the direct presentation of reluctance and breakdown emotions, and stay with it with awareness, accept it, observe it, allow its existence, and finally, let it pass through your body to realize the flow of energy and achieve peaceful coexistence with it."
These words plunged me into deep thought. In the "Heart Sutra", it is said, "The mind is free from hindrances. Because there are no hindrances, there is no fear." The reason why I am full of fear in the new environment and so worried about Chen Chao's behavior is precisely because there are hindrances in my heart? I am attached to the past stability and harmony and unable to accept the current changes and uncertainties, thus allowing fear to take root in my heart.
The "Diamond Sutra" also says, "All phenomena are illusory. If you can see that all phenomena are not real, you will see the Tathagata." The behavior of Chen Chao that I fear might also just be a manifestation, an illusion. If I can go beyond the appearance and see the essence behind it, perhaps I can face it with a more peaceful state of mind.
Just as the ancients said, "Not pleased by external gains, not saddened by personal losses." I should not be influenced by the people and things outside but maintain inner peace and firmness. "After thousands of tempests and ten thousand blows, the bamboo still stands firm. Let it be east wind, west wind, south wind or north wind." No matter how the environment changes, I should be like that tough bamboo, holding fast to my inner self.
Teacher Tang Bo's words made me understand that I should learn to accept my emotions, whether it is reluctance, breakdown or fear. Only when I truly accept them can I coexist peacefully with them and find my own peace in this complicated world.
In the days to come, I am willing to face new challenges and difficulties with a heart of tolerance and compassion. No longer let fear and resentment dominate my heart but use wisdom and courage to dissolve everything. I believe that after experiencing the baptism of wind and rain, I will surely usher in inner peace and growth.
这种恐惧如阴霾般笼罩着我，让我在新的环境中举步维艰。然而，就在这个迷茫而又不安的夜晚，好友汤波老师的一句话，宛如一道破晓的曙光，照亮了我内心黑暗的角落。
他说：“胡嬷嬷你记住，一切恨，根本都是源自于对自我的不接纳，对自我的不慈悲。每当恨意来袭，允许不甘和崩溃情绪的直接呈现，并且带着觉知跟它待在一起，接纳它，观察它，允许它的存在，最后，让它穿过你的身体，实现能量的流动，实现与之和平共处。”
这番话让我陷入了深深的沉思。《心经》中曾言：“心无挂碍，无挂碍故，无有恐怖。”我之所以对新环境充满恐惧，对陈超的行为如此担忧，不正是因为我心中有所挂碍吗？我执着于过去的安稳与和谐，无法接受如今的变化和不确定性，从而让恐惧在心中生根发芽。
《金刚经》亦云：“凡所有相，皆是虚妄。若见诸相非相，即见如来。”我所恐惧的陈超的行为，或许也只是一种表象，一种虚妄。如果我能超越表象，看到其背后的本质，也许就能以更加平和的心态去面对。
正如古人云：“不以物喜，不以己悲。”我不应被外界的人和事所左右，而应保持内心的平静与坚定。“千磨万击还坚劲，任尔东西南北风。”无论环境如何变化，我都要像那坚韧的竹子一样，坚守自己的内心。
汤波老师的话让我明白了，要学会接纳自己的情绪，无论是不甘、崩溃还是恐惧。只有当我真正接纳它们，才能与之和平共处，才能在这纷繁复杂的世界中找到属于自己的安宁。
在未来的日子里，我愿以一颗宽容、慈悲的心去面对新的挑战和困难。不再让恐惧和怨恨主宰我的内心，而是用智慧和勇气去化解一切。相信在经历了风雨的洗礼后，我定能迎来内心的宁静与成长。
"Finding Inner Peace Amidst Changes"
This morning, with a heart full of reluctance, I officially left the warm big family of the Medical Insurance Department office and stepped into the Information Department office, which was once full of intrigues. The moment I moved in, an indescribable fear pervaded my heart, and the source of this fear was the worry about the behavior of the department director, Chen Chao. I was afraid that his unpredictable words and actions would stimulate me and even cause my fragile heart to die suddenly due to excitement.
This fear hung over me like a haze, making me stumble in the new environment. However, on this confused and uneasy night, a word from my friend, Teacher Tang Bo, was like a dawn breaking through the darkness in my heart.
He said, "Hu Mama, remember that all hatred fundamentally stems from the non-acceptance of oneself and the lack of compassion for oneself. Whenever hatred strikes, allow the direct presentation of reluctance and breakdown emotions, and stay with it with awareness, accept it, observe it, allow its existence, and finally, let it pass through your body to realize the flow of energy and achieve peaceful coexistence with it."
These words plunged me into deep thought. In the "Heart Sutra", it is said, "The mind is free from hindrances. Because there are no hindrances, there is no fear." The reason why I am full of fear in the new environment and so worried about Chen Chao's behavior is precisely because there are hindrances in my heart? I am attached to the past stability and harmony and unable to accept the current changes and uncertainties, thus allowing fear to take root in my heart.
The "Diamond Sutra" also says, "All phenomena are illusory. If you can see that all phenomena are not real, you will see the Tathagata." The behavior of Chen Chao that I fear might also just be a manifestation, an illusion. If I can go beyond the appearance and see the essence behind it, perhaps I can face it with a more peaceful state of mind.
Just as the ancients said, "Not pleased by external gains, not saddened by personal losses." I should not be influenced by the people and things outside but maintain inner peace and firmness. "After thousands of tempests and ten thousand blows, the bamboo still stands firm. Let it be east wind, west wind, south wind or north wind." No matter how the environment changes, I should be like that tough bamboo, holding fast to my inner self.
Teacher Tang Bo's words made me understand that I should learn to accept my emotions, whether it is reluctance, breakdown or fear. Only when I truly accept them can I coexist peacefully with them and find my own peace in this complicated world.
In the days to come, I am willing to face new challenges and difficulties with a heart of tolerance and compassion. No longer let fear and resentment dominate my heart but use wisdom and courage to dissolve everything. I believe that after experiencing the baptism of wind and rain, I will surely usher in inner peace and growth.
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