Hi, everyone , howard's today is a melancholy day. I still thinking some problem of myself for long time . Howard has been working at hospital for 10 years. Howard wants to ask some question to himself . What do i want to be ? Where do i want to go ? Where is my future ? Where is my career? Yesterday, i've understand a turth when attended a meeting about medicines. Actually i know that i'm nothing. But i've understand what my boss (wang wei ) 's heart. He loves his money, also he afraid that lost some money. In his heart, he know only how do we get money. Actually i know that he still hating me. Why he hates me ? Because i'm a stupid person. Isn't a smart person. Everybody. Why should I be live in for ? At the moment, i want to tell everybody. Howard isn't stupid person. howard is a good person who can help poor people. Boss wang wei, you are a stupid person. Thanks for you give 10 years to me. you let me know what the world is.
中文解释：胡自牧 Howard 同学，今天感觉特别的惆怅。我一直在想一些问题。因为昨天的加班参加一次例行会议。我仿佛得到了什么启示。说实话应该是人生启示。它让我一直在想几个问题。我应该往何处去？将来应该做什么？我的前途命运是否应该改变了？或许真的是我想得好多好多。有点抑郁了吧。但从例行会议中一个人的面部表情，我可以看出他一直在埋怨我。在他心里，他根本无法分清谁是焦裕禄 ？谁是雷政富？在他心里，他始终相信雷政富。因为在他看来只有雷政富能懂他，才是懂事的好人。而焦裕禄只是一个傻子。彻彻底底的混蛋王八蛋。Howard说这些有什么用了，Howard就是一个焦裕禄，一个他无法明白的焦裕禄。我不想管他，但他出现我眼前，我不得不管他。于是乎，我做出了一个重新考虑我姥姥的意见的决定。或许我姥姥的意见才是我真正回到本真的路。路很简单就是放弃所有的荣华富贵，投身一个能时时关怀别人的新路线。唯一要牺牲的是自己的小欲望。此时此刻 ，再次谢谢那些曾经伤害，关怀，帮助我的人。谢谢你们 让我明白这个世界是什么。 我又是什么。
